I have handled divorce cases, estate administrations, and challenges to wills and trusts in my thirty years of practicing law. These areas of law involve dealing with families in some level of crisis and significant emotional strain. The difference between divorce cases, and estates, is that many problems regarding estates can be managed by good planning and a certain level of transparency.
One of the byproducts of the Great Depression was the theory that one must keep his or her estate, and estate plan, a secret. It is this desire or need for secrecy that can lead to problems after a death. While all personal situations are different, the problems this secrecy can cause could be greatly reduced with estate plans formed with the family’s understanding.
When a parent or other loved one keeps their estate issues close to the vest, it can create suspicion, worry, jealousy, etc. Each child may have a belief, or an expectation, as to what will happen when a parent dies. It is these feelings and perceptions that can lead to estate litigation before or after a death. A parent may also tell one child one thing and another child something else, which leads to spoiled expectations at death or disability. These “lies” create animosity and can lead to disagreement and ultimately litigation.
We have discovered it is far better to review the estate plan in a friendly, relaxed environment with the children, providing an opportunity for them to discuss the plan and understand who will have what role. This is called a Family Meeting, and it is a formal part of our estate planning process. Holding the Family Meeting allows us to explain the plan and review expectations about the responsibilities in the plan. This openness has reduced, if not eliminated, litigation among our clients’ families.
This process is important to ensure transparency, comfortability with the estate plan, and foster teamwork among the family. It creates a bond between family members as opposed to adversity, which can occur when an estate plan is kept secret. While we cannot force everyone to get along, we can help ease the process of estate administration when someone passes. This part of the process eliminates the secrets and lies that lead to bad planning and even worse outcomes.
Robert K. Hilton is an attorney with the law firm of Hilton Estate & Elder Law, LLC, with offices in Utica, Boonville, Syracuse, Lowville, and Gouverneur, NY. He has over thirty years of legal experience and currently concentrates in estate planning matters, including Wills, Powers of Attorney, Health Care Proxies, Revocable and Irrevocable Trusts, Asset Protection, Nursing Home/Medicaid planning and related litigation issues. He can be reached at (315) 624-9600 for free initial, confidential consultation. Visit us on the web at: www.Hiltonlawny.com